Opinions Salty on Imaginative Coney Island High-rise

By The Associated Press

NEW YORK CITY, Feb. 16—

Construction has begun on a slew of high-rises on the Coney Island shoreline, shocking local residents and tourists alike. The speed at which the team moved into the historic beach and began the development process is unprecedented, completing most of the building in the span of an afternoon.

When asked about the project, the developer, Alexander, gesticulated wildly and shouted “I love big trucks.” On the issue of how tall the finished building would be, he shrugged and said, “I don’t know; how tall is the sky?”

The opinions of several beachgoers on what they thought of a potential skyscraper being built next to the iconic Coney Island Boardwalk were almost universally negative. An eyewitness report from Ted Flint, a 42-year-old accountant from Wichita, Kansas, claims that the Flint “nearly tripped” over the skyscraper. The report goes on to say it “isn’t even that big” and looks “more like a sand castle than a skyscraper.”

Only time will tell.